WTF is a “Commitment Ceremony?”
A Commitment Ceremony is a celebration during which a couple declares their love and become partners for life.
FAQ for Commitment Ceremony
Is it like a wedding?
Answer: Yes, sorta. But not exactly.
Then why aren’t you calling it a wedding?
Answer: Because it’s not exactly a wedding. A wedding is “legal” in the sense paperwork is signed, taxes are involved, etc. We won’t be in a church. No officiant. No courthouse.
So you just want the party without having to sign paperwork.
Answer: Exactly! Well, no, wait. It’s not like that. There’s more to it than that.
Then why not just call it a wedding? Why do you have to make it so complicated? Fucking hipsters…
Answer: Max and Renee respect those who are in traditional marriages (heck, they’ve been married before. Most of their friends are married). But, for Renee and Max, a”traditional” marriage doesn’t make sense for them at this point in their lives. They’re not having any kids. They’re closer to retirement than graduating HS. What would they gain from it?
This is about Renee, isn’t it? Why does Renee have to be so difficult?
Answer: Because Renee’s a flaming feminist and doesn’t want a traditional wedding, ok? Is that ok with you? Max is totally on board. They’ve both been married before and the legal stuff isn’t their style at this point in their lives.
Is Max going to have to tell mixed company that he’s got “a partner?” Because I want to be there when he does.
Answer: Ha! No. After the Ceremony, we’ll call each other “husband” and “wife” since the term “partner” comes with some unintended and awkward, albeit fun assumptions (esp for Max).
Hey, chill. It’s cool. I don’t really care what you call it. I was just curious….Wait, “Renee and Max?” Who’s writing this?
Someone’s writing about themselves in the third person.
Answer: Ok, me. Renee. It’s me, ok? Sheesh.
You’re talking about yourself in the third person. I didn’t know you were that kind of person.
Answer: I guess she is. I am. We are. Um, Max says hey.
Hey Max. Anyway, so how is it like a wedding?
Answer: Partay! Vows! Most stuff will be the same, but some stuff will be different.
Wow, that’s specific. So, what’s different?
Answer: No wedding music. No cake–
WHAT THE FUCK NO CAKE?!
Answer: Dude, chill, it’s cool. We’re getting something better than cake.
(Mic Drop) I’m outta here.
Answer: Wait! Don’t go! Seriously, hear me out. It’ll be awesome. They. I mean, we promise. Max and Renee throw awesome parties. You won’t be disappointed.
Answer: Fine, what?
(Folds arms) Fine. Fine, I’m listening. So you’re having the party and exchanging vows in front of your friends and family. It’s like a wedding but you aren’t signing paperwork. Lemme guess: Smash the Patriarchy.
Answer: Yes! Exactly! She-Hulk Smash!!!
Uh huh. Well, they’ll still be ‘in good times and bad…death do you part’ and all that, right?
Answer: At least in the event of a zombie apocalypse then we’ll be that hawt couple in a rag tag motley crew of survivors or until North Korea decides to nuke the west coast.
So do I have to dress up?
Answer Sure! We are. It’s Sci-Fi themed, but not cosplay, if that makes sense.
Which brings up an important issue. Ladies: if you’re dressing up in a sci-fi themed dress, please let me (Renee) know what you’re wearing. I’m wearing a non-traditional, themed dress and don’t want us to accidentally wear the same dress. I mean, there’s only one internet and the chances are too high not to worry just a little. Talk about awkward.
Is Max dressing up like Han Solo?
Answer: No, but if he dressed up in character he’d def be Picard. We’re not dressing up as specific characters.
Ooooooh, burn…Is Max helping you write this or is he in not seeing what you’re typing?
Answer: He’s driving right now so not sure if he’ll know what happens passed the “smash the patriarchy” bit.
Do the dudes have to wear suits?
Answer: Probably but it’s not a rule or anything. You won’t be stopped at the door. We’d appreciate it if you don’t just show up in jeans and t-shirt. (Yes, Greg, you can wear sandals). Oh, it’s probably also important to mention that you may be active during the ceremony. (ie: wear something you can easily move around in. Ladies, that means you may want to bring leggings if you’re wearing a dress). Again, we’re not cosplaying but if you want to you can. Since it’s in the middle of August, it’ll be pretty warm out.
Woah. What are you going to make us do? I’m not running. You can’t make me run. I hate running.
Answer: No, we’re not making people run. We just have some fun stuff planned which, if you want to participate, will include being active is all.
So, I got this weird playing card in the mail telling me to RSVP with this website listed at the bottom of the card. What’s that all about?
Answer: You can RSVP by going to the RSVP link at the top of this webpage. Fill out the online form and Voila! We’ll see you at the Ceremony!
So…can I bring a Tinder date?
Answer: You get a +1. Go for it. Just indicate whether you’re bringing a date and their name on the online RSVP form.
Who’s the Bridesmaids and Groomsmen? I’m like your best friend and no one asked me to be a bridesmaid or groomsmen.
Answer: We aren’t doing the Bridesmaids or Groomsmen thing. There’s no walking down the aisle, no bachelor or bachelorette parties; however, I’m sure Max would drink beer if you brought it over to the house to celebrate the day before the ceremony. Just know that Renee may be there drinking it too, so be sure to bring enough.
I don’t see a registry listed on the website. Where’s the registry? You’d think it’d be on the website. Bad design, guys. Seriously.
Answer: OK, this is a two part question.
First: BYOB+ to the Ceremony. In other words, bring something fancy/yummy to drink (alcoholic or otherwise) with a little extra share at the Ceremony. That would really help us out a lot.
Second: there’s no link on the website because there’s no registry because we don’t want stuff. Seriously, have you seen our pad? For real, we have way too much crap in the house as it is. Instead, you can always give us some fancy liquor/beer/wine. Renee and Max can enjoy these together and even share them with friends at future parties. If you aren’t interested in buying them liquor/beer/wine, you can buy them “experiences” instead. A night in a bed and breakfast somewhere. A gift certificate to a restaurant. A round of mini-golf. A wine tasting session. Horse-back riding. A Brazen Race registration. Harry Potter Land tickets. Just no musicals. Max isn’t really into those.
Oh, dude, did you see that episode of Randy on South Park about the musicals?
Answer: Ha! Yeah, that one was pretty funny. How about the Inception episode. Randy’s all like: “Butterfly Puntang!”
LOL, yeah. Dang, I have to catch up on some South Park.